The Citrus Chronicles: Update

Day 34 Mildura

The last two weeks have felt like the twilight zone.

The mental disposition in our living quarters are now in a rapid state of decline. We believe that we have not only been infiltrated but that the enemy have attempted to poison us with some substance named ‘goon.’ Little do they know that these poisons no longer have any effect on us, we are already immune.

In retaliation the dwarf has suspended the orange packing endurance tests for two weeks in order to see how long we can survive without the little they pay us. We knew they had something up their sleeve when her minions were handing out doughnuts at break time, the sadistic fiends.

We are now trapped in our cells for extended periods of time, often leading to bouts of irregular behaviour. We have taken to drinking the poison goon for fun in the desperate hope of some form of escapism. We are dispirited but we are not defeated. We shall once again rally and plot our revenge. We shall prevail dear friends and another year on this vast land will be ours!

Pray for the Mildura Two.


The Ultimate Writer’s Guide for the Novice Author

Dysfunctional Literacy

If you really want to be a writer, don't let anybody or anything discourage you. (image via wikimedia) If you really want to be a writer, don’t let anything discourage you. (image via wikimedia)

An Ultimate Writer’s Guide is not about giving advice.  Writers can get advice all over the internet.  An Ultimate Writer’s Guide is about discussing what’s in store for novice authors without discouraging authors or scaring them off.

It’s true, being a novice author can be tough.  The money might be nonexistent.  Since most writers don’t make much money from writing, almost all of them have to work full-time jobs, and that means writers don’t have much time for writing.  Even with blogs and social media, there’s no guarantee that a writer will be able to build an audience.  Despite these challenges, being a writer can be worth the time and effort.

The money issue isn’t everything, but it can’t be ignored.  Even with easy self-publishing and ebooks that don’t cost anything to create, it’s still…

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The Citrus Chronicles

Day 24 in Mildura

The Italian poisoned dwarf seems to have switched tactics. Taking a more modern twist in the good cop bad cop routine, she has switched to the bad cop, even worse cop routine in order to break our spirit.
We are unsure what her aim is but one thing we do know is that it will not break us.

Our numbers continue to deplete at a rapid pace. More prisoners arrive at the packing shed for work and then leave! Never to be seen again. We can only suspect that the dwarf has killed them and packed them into boxes, we will pray for our fallen comrades. We believe the only reason we are still alive is because we are still useful to her. We can only suppose that the orange packing is some sort of test of endurance and only the strong shall survive. The dwarf and her minions continue to monitor us closely. We refuse to give up!

I am still haunted by oranges in my dreams. The citrusy odour continues to follow me. The siren that indicates that we should get back to work plays continuously in my mind. If one day I should gain my freedom from this place, I fear I will never be the same.

We have 76 more days to plan an attack and hope it will gain us our freedom in this land. However our living quarters seems to have had a rapid increase in Italian prisoners. We suspect that they are spies! They have built their headquarters in the kitchen. They must be reporting back to the poison dwarf. The Italian spies have over compensated in trying to blend in by buying too many ingredients. They seem fearful of anything that resembles fast food, therefore our headquarters shall be in KFC.

If you do not hear from me again you must assume that I have succumbed to the fate of my brethren and have fallen at the hands of the poison dwarf. If this comes to pass we must spread this story far and wide to raise awareness amongst the backpacker race. Cherish your freedom my friends.

Pray for the Mildura two.