1. Your Christmas dinner

Now this can go either way depending on the skill of the cook. But if you are like me and love your grub it’s the most long awaited dinner of the year. Although anyone who eats Brussel sprouts needs a good kicking.


2. Christmas clothes.

From Christmas jumpers to sparkly outfits it’s really Just an excuse for a new outfit. Jumpers are an acceptable item if they look like your granny authentically knitted it but if it looks like Buddy the Elf crafted it in the North Pole with flashing lights and 3d components then I’m sorry but you sir, are an idiot!

3. Do not enter

This is a sign that should be displayed outside every Primark in the world throughout the month of December. Unless you have a death wish or enjoy a good fight with a granny over the last size 12 then steer clear of Primark.

4. Kids become more annoying.

It’s inevitable, too many sweets and Christmas spirit and that loveable kid turns into a Santa hunting demon wielding an Argos book and demanding the latest Barbie handbag. (Do they still make barbies?)

5. The Christmas pounds

I’m not talking about money. You’re lucky that Christmas grants an excuse to buy a whole new wardrobe because you’re going to need it after the consumption of ten boxes of quality street.


6. The Christmas market.

Everyone waits all year to cram themselves into an overcrowded German beer tent that is dripping with sweaty condensation. Where there’s never enough room. The bouncers keep telling you to move so they can fit more smelly farting men in and you end up covered in the German beer you intended to drink; which consequently ruins your flashing Rudolf Christmas jumper.

7. People are happy.

Unless you work in retail people are generally more happy around the holidays. It’s nice to see so many people smiling and greeting each other full of festive cheer.


8. Big or small; presents are awesome

It’s great to appreciate what you have. There is also so much satisfaction in giving. For me, I appreciate a new pair of socks just as much as I appreciate a piece of beautiful jewellery. The thought really does count.

9. There is nothing like a warm fire.

When it’s Christmas you never begrudge yourself a night by the fire, in cosy pyjama’s with ANOTHER box of quality street.

10. Christmas TV

Home Alone, Santa Clause, Die Hard (don’t care what anyone says it is a Christmas film) The only time of the year it’s acceptable for fully grown adults to watch Disney films for eight hours straight.


11. Shit, we didn’t get them anything.

There are always unexpected and unannounced guests who come bearing a gift bag and you haven’t gotten them anything. Time for the usual scramble round the house and you hand them an opened box of biscuits and a bottle of cheap wine. :/ My Bad.

12. The whole families together…

And there can’t be any bickering. It’s Christmas Day, the magical day where siblings get along and everyone puts their differences aside. It’s only one day after all how hard can it be?



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